Beer and Moaning in Las Americas: February 2012

So here I am again, slightly more belated than planned - I'm blaming the cachaca.

We have been very busy the last couple of weeks what with beaches to bathe on, waterfalls to see and caipirinhahs to drink but I will try to update!

I have not yet mentioned the brazilian cuisine so I will begin here. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it to be honest as it was completely not what I was expecting? For such a vibrant and exciting city I would expect the food to mirror this and be spicy and exotic but this is not the case. For me the food is 'nice' but thats just it, its really quite bland. The standard meal here would be perhaps chicken or some other kind of meat with rice and feijoa which are like traditional black beans in a black sauce which would be great (for me anyway) if they brightened it up a bit by chucking in some chillies or spices for flavour? Some other traditional Brazilian delights we have tried is Acai (pronounced Ah-sai-eeh is massively popular in the sucos bars in Rio as its loaded with vitamins and gives high energy boost. Its made from the Amazon palm fruit and is dark purple in colour and research has even been undertaken that it has even helped cure cancer). It wouldn't be right to visit Rio and not go to one of their infamous juice bars and get amongst the Carioca lifestyle where you can choose from tons of fresh fruit and berries to be mixed up in to a 'suco' (a juice). However acai is definitely the most traditional and perhaps unusual. I have heard of it before in the UK and it is described as a superfood so I thought I better give it a go - the first time we tried it I have got to say it had a distinct resemblance to muddy soil water but I have tried and tried again to see what the fuss is about and I must admit it is getting better. Lets just say its an acquired taste and for me so far I have found the best way to enjoy this 'delicious' treat would be in a kind of smoothie milkshake they do with granola on top to mask the bizarre bitterness. Coco Frio is another Rio gem which you will find on most street corners in the city and this is literally fresh cold coconut water served to you in a big old green coconut and is pretty good and hits the spot on a toasty hot day. On the beach also you are constantly offered pretty much anything - food, drinks, sarongs, jewellery and the odd narcotic come to that and I've got to say I am always tempted by the Camarao (prawns) but have been told on good authority from a local that unless we want to experience an explosive bout of delhi belly/turkish tummy/the runs then it's probably best to give this one a wide berth. I will adhere to this.

Before I move on from the subject of food I just want to mention another thing which is interesting here. There are restaurants all over Rio which are literally a 'weigh your plate' place which consists of a huge buffet of the most random mixture of food and you literally pay per kilo of what you have. Who on earth eats a kilo of food? Anyway this sounds like a good idea....until you get carried away and create the most bizarre concoctions of food combinations which you otherwise in a normal world (Rio is not a normal world) would never imagine. For example the other day I was shocked to discover that on my plate sat some lasagne, sushi, meat stew, prawns, chicken, veg stir fry and pie? and I have no idea why.

We met one of Rogerios friends called Vicente at the rooftop BBQ i spoke about before and as a Capoeira master he invited us to a class. Capoeira (a Brazilian martial art that combines elements of dance and music. it was created in Brazil mainly by descendants of African slaves with Brazilian influences) and I have seen and heard of it a little at home but wanted to see the real thing. However 'seeing' soon translated into 'doing' and before I knew it me and Hannah were ginga - ing and jumping about all over the place. Ginga is the basic step from which all the other moves come from and this alone was hard enough to get right but I did find that my years of cartwheeling and handstands at school came in handy as I was top of the class at this section, it was just the rest of it I was flagging. Apparently the hardest thing when you first start capoeira is getting over the embarassment as you are literally up in front of the rest of the class doing something you have no idea about. Funny though. Its really amazing to watch and is a beautiful mixture of martial arts, dance and gymnastics but to actually do was a whole different story. Being a black belt in karate and after training at Kickboxing for a few years my kicks did come in handy but it was such a different style it was really hard to adjust. I had a great time doing it and we went again the next day regardless of the fact that my limbs felt like they would fall off at any given moment.

We have been meeting some good people here in Rio and so have had the advantage of being taken off the beaten tourist tracks and to places where the Brazilians themselves choose to hang out and relax. In 2 days we visited 2 different waterfalls and these were beautiful. We went to Horto with two friends, the aforementioned Rogerio and his friend Beto. This was cool - it was a very sweaty bus ride followed by a little ramble through the Tijuca forest national park until we reached the waterfall. It was small but perfect if not a little freezing, but I did have to keep hold of the old bikini top and bottoms when I went under the fall so as not to give all the locals a flash of England! The next day we went to Tijuca forest again but this time with Pedro and Iury. This particular waterfall was further away but really nice because we were the only ones there. Afterwards Pedro told us about a cave where they used to lock up the Brazilian slaves in the old days which was apparently haunted so we were keen to go.....he assured us he knew where it was! The problem with forests is that there happens to be a lot of trees and as a tree is a tree is a tree (with no signposts or even vague directions) I think getting lost was always inevitable. However c'est la vie and you know what they say.... 7th time lucky and all that we eventually found it and it was worth the wandering about. It was a tiny little hole to get in but once inside it was massive with only a small gap of light for you to appreciate it. I didn't see any ghosts on this occasion but I did hear bats and with bats comes Guano so we decided to make a swift exit.

Later in the week we decided to go solo and head off on a walk in to Lapa and Santa Teresa which are a few neighbourhoods past Flamengo and where the infamous Camera incident occurred. So with only one camera between two I took the role of bodyguard when Hannah was taking pics - whether this was to be a successful move only time can tell. Once in Lapa and narrowly avoiding a few 'face-rape' incidents we made it to Selarons staircase and after taking copious amounts of pictures from every possible angle who should we see sat on his doorstep....... but Selaron himself. This crazy moustached chilean artist lives on his self named staircase (proud or narcissistic? ) and invited us in to a room which is like a little gallery/museum/shrine to himself and we managed to get a picture with the man and a few postcards to boot. Afterwards we walked up the stairs and on to the next neighbourhood Santa Teresa which was a lovely little place with friendly locals and yet more opportunities to buy a beer on the street and bizarre tacky religious artifacts which I neither particularly want or need.

These last couple of weeks have been a battle between the constant allure to go out and get crazy drunk with the other 'hostelites' and locals or stay in, save money, eat 2 minute noodles and watch Law and Order. Whilst Law and Order has put up a valiant battle and I have a soft spot for old Jack it is no CSI and we have been filling our weeks with far too many cerveza's and caipirinha's along with many more failed samba attempts. We have been doing our usual street party drinking in Lapa and Gavea but mixed it up with one of Rio's infamous Favela Funk Parties! Now if this wasn't an experience I honestly don't know what is. Firstly it was a mission to get to Favela do Castelo which involved a few white vans, mild hysteria and the now normal confusion but we made it and went in. The first site that greeted me was an enormous transvestite - I would say she/he was definitely close to 7ft dressed in some spangly garms and very badly applied make up (bless her) but she gave me a wink and all was well. The club was massive and dark filled with lots of crazy people and the atmosphere was insane. Now would probably be a good time to mention that the 'funk' music here is not the funk music you would imagine - this is no James Brown. Here the funk music or Funk Carioca as it is known also here discuss topics like sex, poverty, human dignity, racial pride of black people, violence and social injustice but really mainly just sex as I discovered the hard way when merrily/foolishly singing along to the music a local told me what it meant which lets just say is not for innocent ears. A very fun night indeed filled with the most transvestites I have ever seen at one time (a personal record of mine).

Good times had by all. Tudo bem.